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Gavon's Zeroth Law: "There is no problem that cannot be solved by judicious application of a database."
  • San Leoni's Rejoinder: I want to have a baby...
  • Gavon's Final Rebuttal: Just use an INSERT INTO coupled with an INNER JOIN...
Gavon's First Law: Everything is defined by 6 dimensions:
  1. X
  2. Y
  3. Z
  4. Time
  5. Money
  6. Politics
  • Crowley's Coup: "Seven... you forgot 'Sex'"
  • Gavons' Rejoinder: "Oh, I thought you were going to say 'Ego.'
Gavon's Second Law: "There will never be unity, merely balance..."
Gavon's Third Law: Everything follows a Laffer Curve. The answer is always somewhere in the middle, never on the extreme.

For example: Free-Market vs. State Controlled Economy... On one end, there would be three companies, WinTel, Wal-Mart and Global Petroleum.. on the other end, the Government is the monopoly. The answer is 'neither' and/or 'both'"
Corrolary #1: "Choose your monopoly wisely... you won't get a second chance!
Gavon's Fourth Law: "The "Hunter/Killer" Curve is a law of nature. 'The Top 2%-5% hold 50% of everything."
Gavon's Last Law: "Where there is NOT a will, there is NOT a way."
Gavon's Code of Valor: "Cowardice is the better part of valor. (Psst: That's 'discretion.') "No, I tried that. Discretion implies being able to hide what you are doing. I'm way too chicken to need to be discreet."
Gavon's Looping Flaw: "Don't say 'when' when you mean 'if', don't say 'if' if you mean 'when'!" Example: "If/When I marry you..."
Gavon's Summation: "The World is made up of the sum of its people."
  • You can predict global trends by watching people you know
  • The world is governed by people who act remarkably like your baby sister
San Leoni's Zeroeth Law: "Expect the Unbelievable!"
San Leoni's First Law: "When your path is a series of impossibilities, making the first one happen tends to help make the others happen."
San Leoni's Second Law: "When your path is a series of difficulties, where each thing introduces new issues with the next, the best thing is to 'do it all at once!"
San Leoni's Third Law: "No one get everything they want. Once you establish that, and then assume it from the outset, you can negotiate anything."
San Leoni's 23d Law: "Never judge a man until you've eaten half of his favorite pizza."
Gavon/San Leoni Challenge: "Never say 'Never', Never say 'Always'"
Gavon's Oxymoron: "World Government"
Adrienne's Conjecture: "The right question with no answer is better than the wrong question with a right answer."
Gavon's Business Guidelines (aka Gavon's 5 Commandments)
  1. Trust no one
  2. Get it in writing
  3. Check the dates
  4. Possession is 90% of the law
  5. Don't do business with anyone that you wouldn't sue. Because the first 4 can still be insufficient...
"I have no secrets. Every 'secret' I have is known by someone."
  • No one knows every secret
  • Sometimes, I tell a new acquaintance (or a complete stranger) one of the nastier secrets. If they remain on my radar sceen, then I have nowhere to go but up. If not...
  • Now you know why I get nervous in large gatherings of friends... ;-)
  • Click here to see the matrix of who knows which secret
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say, can and will be used in my next book..."
"Great minds twist alike."
A common occurrence in programming, and in real life:
[Insufficient memory to perform this task.]
On "Rocket Science"
Rocket Science is not about some genius staring at a blackboard for hours and writing '60.2893', it's about huge teams adding up every stinking little factor that, honestly, no one else even thinks about* using the most massive computers of the day, and coming up with '60.2893'.
*Things other people never think about
  • If we use 1/32" too much solder on each connection, how much more do we weigh? 1700kg?!
  • Earth's gravity is 'lumpy.' Which side of which lump are we on?
  • My spacesuit is 250° on this side, -250° on that side. Do I turn on the heat or the air conditioning?
  • How many protons/cc3 are there? 10 or 15?
  • If we don't do this now, we'll have to wait 153.724 days for the next chance!
  • Okay, so if we take an extra 287.395 days, we can save 12kg's of propellant? Oh, 12 pounds... whatever?!
There is nothing 'out there' that is worth the cost of going. Forget that motivation. Does that mean we shouldn't go? No, but it means we've passed the Point of No Return on Investment!
If you are exploring strange, new worlds with the intention of treating them like this planet... stay home!

Illustrative myth: Once in Earth Orbit, you're halfway to anywhere.
Corollary 1: Once you are out of your Hometown, you're halfway to anywhere.
Corollary 2: Once you are out of High School, you're halfway to anywhere.
Corollary 3: My Hometown... it's a nice place to live, but I wouldn't want to visit there.
Corollary 4: My Hometown is no longer on the Russian nuclear target list. I'm circulating a petition to get it put back on.
Corollary 5: Luke? Where are you going?" "It looks like I'm going nowhere..."
Corollary 6: "What a God-forsaken, nowhere village! Hey you... what's the name of this podunk town?"
On "Time & Motion"
"Everything you now believe, you once didn't."
"In hiding my failures, no one knew of my successes."
"The fool digs deeper and deeper and says, 'There! I have accomplished something.' "
New Acqaintance: "Nice to meet you, Michael Gavon. I've heard so much about you."
Michael Gavon: "Well, thank you. But the truth is on
my website!"